Stupid Book Reviewer

I bet you clicked on this thinking, "Oh snap! She's about to start some drama!"...Well, you may be right. Or at least I may step on a few toes in my quest to help book reviewers understand what writers and readers are asking for.

First let me clear up what we do want:

1. HONEST reviews of the STORY

.....What?? Are you sitting there waiting for a longer list? Well, that's all there is. All we need from reviewers is their honest opinion of how much they enjoyed the pages they just devoured. Tell us how much you liked or disliked our characters, the world they lived in, the overall story, or how it broke your heart when a character died (without spoiling the story). Good or bad tell it to us. We want to hear it. Yes, we do prefer the good reviews, after all writers spend months or even years making that world you just consumed in three days so a raving review is always what we are looking for. Writers love to brag about those 5 star reviews, share them on social media, post them on book covers, and even print them out and tack them on the front of the refrigerator so we can smile at it every time one of our kids beg us to fix them a bowl of ice cream (OK, maybe that last one is just me!).  Writers even read bad reviews (usually with one eye closed) and try to take in what didn't work for the reader. We don't want you to hold back a bad review even if it hurts as long as it's constructive (not mean spirited) criticism. Sometimes we need it to learn a little more about story creation mistakes so please post your honest review.

Now let me point out a few things that reviewers are shoving into their reviews that the author nor future reader doesn't give two craps about and quite frankly makes the reviewer look dumb:

1. If the length of the book was unsatisfactory to you.--Nope, don't care. Especially when you are going on and on about how you didn't realize the story (which is clearly marked "novelette" "Novella", or "Short Story") wasn't long enough.  YOU'RE A READER SO START BY READING THE COVER
2. If your friend who recommended the book mislead you to think it was another genera.-- Not the author's fault so don't give him/her a one star review simply because you didn't take time to read the book's blurb.
3. One star because you found the book cheaper on another sight.---Pricing isn't always in the authors hands and it has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the story.
4. One star because you downloaded your copy from a pirating book sight and the formatting was awful.---Do I really need to expand on this? If so please do not read any of my books-EVER.
5. A bad review because you have a personal problem with the author.--Do your fellow readers a favor and just don't read or review any of said author's work. Save the rants for your blog, post, or a tweet (Score one for Freedom of Speach, baby!). People read reviews to learn if the story is something he/she would enjoy not for your hate of the human behind the ink.
6. SPOILERS....SMH...Please don't ruin the story for anyone by posting things in your review that will make the story not worth reading. If I already know who the killer is thanks to your review I'm not going to read the book....BUT I might just tag you in a round up of  last nights Walking Dead or Game of Thrones episode that you missed for revenge *Evil Grin*.

Let me conclude this post by saying thank you to everyone who takes the time to post well thought out book reviews. You are the bread of butter of the book industry.  Without you I would have a terrible time choosing what to read next. But Spider Man said it best: "With great power comes great responsibility."

**Disclaimer** This post isn't in any way about any particular review I've received personally---Unless I tagged you in a W.D. or G.o.T. spoiler--Then it's absolutely about your review :P .

Writers or reviewers, do you have more to add? Did I miss a pet peeve of yours? Post it in the comments below.

Happy reading!

Wenona